The decision of the Eastern Pennsylvania Board of Ordained Ministry today to “deem the clergy credentials of Rev. Frank Schaeffer to be surrendered” was based on a previous challenge the Board gave Rev. Schaeffer to indicate to them within 30 days that he could “affirm the UM Book of Discipline in its entirety…” (cf. http://unitedmethodistreporter.com/2013/12/16/schaefer-states-uphold-book-discipline/). I think we know what they meant, but why put it like this? Is this an unprecedented request? I can’t recall other instances where clergy (much less church members) have been asked or required to “affirm the UM Book of Discipline in its entirety.”
Meditation at Renew Service, Lovers Lane United Methodist Church, 20 November 2013
In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
This Friday marks the fiftieth anniversary of the assassination of President John F. Kennedy in Dealey Plaza in Dallas. Although I will be flying away to Baltimore to attend the annual meeting of the American Academy of Religion, the City of Dallas will be holding a commemorative event in Dealey Plaza. They will unveil a new plaque that I personally voted to approve as a member of the Landmark Commission, a plaque that gives the conclusion of the speech that Kennedy had written and had planned to give that afternoon at the Trade Center in Dallas.
The conclusion of his speech reads as follows: Read the rest of this entry »
But this might be like the Children’s Minister who starts the children’s sermon with, “Hey kids! What’s grey and has a bushy tail and eats nuts?”
And a sullen kindergartener says, “Well I know you want me to say Jesus, but…”
Read the rest of this entry »
I was with an Episcopalian one time and this was no ordinary Episcopalian this was a Dean and that means a Very Reverend and that means a Very Serious Episcopalian so I committed the faux pas of ordering White Zinfandel and he proceeded to give me a Very Reverend Lecture about how “White Zinfandel is wine for people who really don’t like wine.”
The truth is that I grew up as a Methodist drinking sweet iced tea and Kool-Aid and the taste of Merlot remains a bit weird to my mouth and the fact that a wine tastes a little more like Kool-Aid than Merlot is a plus. Don’t tell the fine-wine cops. But despite the Kool-Aid-ical virtues of White Zinfandel, I want you to introduce you to the Perfect Wine for Methodists.
It’s called Manischewitz, and it’s a sweet kosher wine which means they probably didn’t make it with Methodists in mind. Actually there seems to be some debate about its kosher-osity because it’s sweetened with corn syrup which is apparently kosher all year long except for Pesach (Passover) when corn is off the kosher list so the Manischewitz folks make up a special batch with cane syrup for Pesach.
There are three principal reasons why Manischewitz is the Perfect Wine for Methodists.
1. It’s cheap. I mean, it’s really cheap, like you can get a 750 ml bottle at Target for $3.59. Think about that the next time you’re staring at a bottle of Pinot Noir for $11.99 that you know you are not going to like. You could have a Manischewitz and donate the remaining $7 to Nothing But Nets or the UMCOR Haiti relief fund. What would John Wesley do? All the good he can!
2. It’s sweet. I mean, it’s really sweet, almost as sweet as my mother’s iced, tea and she was one of those southern ladies who sweetened the tea while it was hot so as to increase massively the amount of sugar that could be dissolved into iced tea. I told you it has corn syrup. It’s like Grapette with a kick. You’re going to like this; I promise you.
Finally and most importantly, 3. it’s made with Concord grape juice which means that with the slight alteration involved in fermentation, it tastes for all the world like Welch’s Grape Juice, which of course is what Methodists have served up for the Lord’s supper since the time of Thomas Welch himself.
Thomas Bramwell Welch (1825-1903) is not be confused with a latter-day Welch who founded the John Birch Society. Thomas Welch had grown up in the Wesleyan Methodist Connexion in Britain before relocating to Vineland (appropriately) New Jersey. In 1869 he invented his method of pasteurizing grape juice to preserve it unfermented. Despite the fact that John Wesley drank wine and ale, and the fact that the old Methodist General Rules only forbade “spirituous liquors” (i.e., distilled liquor), Methodists were moving in the direction of advocating total abstinence from alcohol in Thomas Welch’s day, and eventually required the use of “the pure, unfermented juice of the grape” in the Lord’s supper. We call that requirement the Welch Rubric. It means that whether Methodists are teetotal or not, they have a fine, discerning taste for the Concord grape and its derivatives.
In 1888, 19 years after Welch’s discovery, the Manischewitz company began manufacturing its kosher wine from Concord grapes. Concord grapes both for Welch’s and for Manischwewitz are cultivated in the Chatauqua region of western New York. So there’s a reason why Manischewitz tastes right. It’s a miracle. It’s Manischewitz. It’s the Perfect Wine for Methodists.
Yes, I know, it should be “Whence Do Saints Come?” but hey it’s a blog.
I’ve been thinking about that company of people, in heaven and now on earth, who reflect the glory and the holiness of God. Read the rest of this entry »
Is it possible that what the New Testament means by preaching is not quite the same phenomenon that goes by the name “preaching” today? Consider simply the length of Christian sermons. The sacred scriptures of the New Testament record four verbatim sermons given by St. Peter and St. Paul. The lengths of these truly biblical models of Christian sermons Read the rest of this entry »
ΔΙΕΡΧΟΜΕΝΟΣ ΓΑΡ ΚΑΙ ΑΝΑΘΕΩΡΩΝ
ΤΑ ΣΕΒΑΣΜΑΤΑ ΥΜΩΝ ΕΥΡΟΝ ΚΑΙ ΒΩΜΟΝ ΕΝ
Ω ΕΠΕΓΕΓΡΑΠΤΟ ΑΓΝΩΣΤΩ ΘΕΩ
dierkhomenos gar kay anatheohrohn
ta sevasmata heemohn evron kay bohmon hen
hoh epegegrapto agnohstoh theoh
for going about and looking at the objects
of your worship i also found one altar inscribed
TO AN UNKNOWN GOD
Here’s what the Apostle Paul should have done. He should have walked through Athens screaming bloody murder and denouncing all the religious shrines he found as sinister objects of evil deities. He should have stood on Mars Hill and delivered a speech like this:
Evil and sinful Athenians: I think I’m going to puke. You are all caught up in the worship of false gods, and as the one true God is my witness, I am here today to condemn your ungodly idolatry and to tell you why you are so wrong and I am so right. Every single one of these altars is an affront to the one true God. Repent, you nasty, ignorant jackasses! Repent of your false worship, and worship the one true God!
But somehow the holy apostle got weak knees when he stood up on Mars Hill and so he blabbered out this sweet-as-molasses thing about how the Athenians really were worshipping the one true God, they just didn’t quite have all the correct data about the one true God, which Paul was happy to deliver to them. Ho hum. I would have preferred a fight. To be fair to the apostle, though, Christians have been pretty consistent in claiming that the God Christians worship is same the God that other people have worshipped as the supreme God under whatever names people may have used.